The following is for behavior management plans. There are several ways to do sticker charts:
1. Give 1 sticker a day and stickers are like money that adds up to prizes and privileges.
2. Give 3 stickers a day and the stickers add up, but the reward sheet (blue) needs to be changed to say more stickers equals a prize – so multiply the number of stickers needed by 2.
3. Give 1 sticker a day and choose from the Fun Jar (stapled to the back of the Trample Tantrums pages).
Tips for Behavior Plans
1. Concentrate on 1 goal at a time such as, “I will follow directions the first time Mommy asks me.”
2. Make sure the child is capable of reaching the goal.
3. Make sure the child is REALLY successful the first week so they will not get discouraged or feel defeated.
4. Call family, friends, neighbors, or whoever will help when the child gets a sticker – let the child hear you tell others how great the child is doing (it’s like hearing your boss tell their boss how great you are).
5. Be INCREDIBLY consistent!!!! If you give in, the child will play you over and over to get you to break down again. Be stronger and more persistent than the child!
6. DON’T GIVE IN!!! If you are not consistent and you give in, that is NOT what is best for the child. You are meeting your own needs and NOT the needs of the child. Ask yourself: “Do I want to give in so my child will like me? Do I want to give in because I want my child to quit bugging and annoying me? Do I want to give in to be ‘the nice parent’ or to be my child’s ‘hero’? Do I want to give in because I am tired of the battle?” Who is TRULY benefiting from you letting the child go off of the plan, “fudging” the plan or giving in to whines and cries?
7. After the rewards are finished, start over and let the child decide whether the same rewards will be on the plan or different ones.
8. Put the plan on the refrigerator so all can see it and the child’s success (unless the child is embarrassed about the plan and then place it on the top of the refrigerator). Try to make it such a positive thing that the child will be very excited!
9. If after a week, you see that the child needs some type of consequence, the child can choose from the No Fun Jar (pink paper) when he/she doesn’t get a sticker. Add consequences to the jar that the child wants to avoid such as a day time-out for a favorite toy, etc.
Some books that may be helpful are listed below:
Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants: Parenting Styles and the Messages They Send by Jim Fay.
How To Stop the Battle With Your Child by Don Fleming, Ph.D.
Win the Whining War and Other Skirmishes by Cynthia Whitam, MSW
The Answer is No – Saying It and Sticking To It by Cynthia Whitam, MSW